So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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