If i come over, it means nothing
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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