Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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