Your mouth is God's brothel.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
