we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
