You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
