I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize