i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and i looked up. we had an audience...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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