You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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