After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
