and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
