I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
