You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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