his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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