what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
