i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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