Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
