guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
