dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
