She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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