I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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