I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
