I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize