I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
