she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
