Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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