I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
