Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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