she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
