I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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