just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
