No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
