he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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