I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
