I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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