What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
