dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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