I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
