I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Rumble strips road head = magical
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize