remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize