we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
