All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
