Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
