can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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