Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
