I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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