mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
