I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
