I forgot how hot balto sounded
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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