Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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