Me. At least after what I've been through.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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