Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize