I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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