FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
