I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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