So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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