you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
