how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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