Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
barbara walters just said penis...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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