that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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