I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
