This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is the high leading the old right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
