Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
