bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Randomize
