wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
