It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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