I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
