Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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