sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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