Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
