You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
