Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
