Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
