i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
