when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize