he wants to bone in the snuggie
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
