I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
