I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
where am i from again
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
