i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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