I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
