The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
