Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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