dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
